Skid Row

When I moved in with an acquaintance that I mistakenly labeled my friend in January, I knew that ultimately it would probably not work out and that when I left it would probably be the end of our friendship because this always happens in situations like mine. I could never have foreseen thst the reason I would have to move out would be caused by something that my ex-wife had done during our divorce that created a record in my background that looks like an eviction. So, after having living there for about three months, I moved out like I told him that I would when I was told by the landlord that I didn’t qualify to live there. I had honestly though that my doing that would maintain the friendship because it would absolve him from any repercussions from my staying there. I never thought he would use the methods Mormon Adults often use to chastise and manipulate their youbg adults to convince then to control them. See, the Mormon use a technique where they cut the person off from all contact or any assistance which is spread throughout friends and family to isolate the person in an attempt to get the person to beg to be forgiven and agree to do whatever it is that the person who started this wants them to do. The fucked up part in this is that there wasn’t anything he wanted me to do that I didn’t do, he just didn’t think I did it fast enough. I really couldn’t understand why he acted the way he did and it made things worse in some respects because it tried to sabotage other relationships by telling them that o said things I didn’t. Going so far as to tell my best friend, who has health issues that make her susceptible to the way Jarom was trying to manipulate her and she wouldn’t talk to me for a few days. So when he finally cut all ties with me, he thought he still had her ear and that he would completely isolate me from everyone who would help.me and that ultimately this would drive me to do whatever he asked to get back in his good graces and obtain his friendship.and help. What he didn’t know is that in the time between him making her stop talking to me and then, she and I had started talking again because she realized what he had done. See, she knew I had never lied to her and that I don’t really work that way.l, since he basically told her I said she was working against me. The depression from having to move out combined with the stress of everything surrounding it combined with my not talking to her drove me to where I avoided everyone and everything for more than a week. Then I decided to go find friends that I hadn’t been able to talk to since I had moved in to the apartment.

Leprekon was the first and as I began looking for my friends, I seemed to keep coming up empty because they were where I was looking for then when and where I was looking for then. Then I found my friend Ell and she smiled and was so happy to see me that she hugged me. I won’t mention that there wss drama that ultimately had her arrested in an outstanding warrant for FTA or Failure To Appear while we were talking. I took her backpack to her friend’s house and left the area because the cops are so heavily patrolling the neighborhood and seem to like to ticket the homeless and those who Pan handle. Although I don’t pan handle and try to keep a low profile when I am talking to the homeless people I know. What I really wanted to do was find my buddy Jon but couldn’t seem to be at the same time.and place as he was even if I waited at the location for a few hours.

Friday, after I had finished with the attempt to help that chick get in to rehab and she had been taken to the ER in an.ambulance, I decided to stay in that area. The next morning, after I got breakfast, I found Jon where I had been looking for him before. When he saw my car and saw me, the smile on his face was genuine as was mine. We quickly caught up and he listened as I told him about my recent adventures with the drink chick and how it had all left me depressed. He asked if I would give him a ride to do some chores and I agreed. Afterwards, I was in the same spot and another friend, Adam came by and he also had a genuine smile and seemed like he was glad to see me. It was the realization that suddenly made my depression disappear because I knew it wasn’t me or.my fault that she didn’t call me.

Then I ran in to Ell and she listened to my adventures with the drink chick and when I mentioned that she couldn’t bad mouth me and say anything negative about how i treated the drink chick while she was with me, responded that she knew I treated her like a princess because that’s how I treated her. I replied that I did this absolutely for the sex and she smiled and indicated she knew that was totally not true. When I explained I was sad that she didn’t call me, Ell said she didn’t deserve me as a friend. This made my night and we talked about the crazy man and then parted company.

I was telling my buddy Chris about the drunk chick and that I had met her through Leprekon and he asked a few questions and realized he knew who she was. As the coversation progressed I told him about being in and out of the hospital with staph infections and he confided in need that he had several on his arm and body. They truly looked bad and I sternly indicated he needed to go to the ER, because it can be deadly. He assured me he was going to go that night. I saw him for the first time in a few days tonight and he explained he had been to the hospital and spent two days getting IV antibiotics and that he almost lost his arm and the doctor said a day or so at most and he would have. Here thanked me for convincing him to go because he wouldn’t have otherwise and that would have killed him. So when he says he needed seven dollars for a hotel room, I offered him the four dollars that I had in cash for gasoline. I know what it is like to get released from the hospital and the need for a shower and bed to sleep in. He was surprised I offered it and promised to give it back to me. I explained that I would appreciate that but at the same time, even if he doesn’t, it’s not going to be something I would get overly upset over. Sure, it complicates my life right now since that was gas money I needed to put in my tank, but this was someone who needed it a bit more and he promised to call me in the morning so I can take a shower. That’s a bonus in and of itself, plus he said I could bring Neal. Neal and I have known each other for a while and we have an implicit trust and understanding that transcends material possessions and this stems for how we think of the other. Since he knows he can use anything I own and simply has to express a desire or a need and he feels the same way about his stuff. So or friendship has continued to get stronger and stronger. He let me know to nights ago that he was in Roseville and it was cold and he was lacking a jacket and on a bike, so I drive to Roseville and picked him and the bike up and we went so that I could get a jacket that I loaned to Dave when I kicked him out of my car so that I could go on this errand to get Neal. When we got back, Dave wasn’t anywhere to be found until the next m morning. Once I the exchange happened we went to find Leprekon and hung out with him for a while.

It was the realization that I had other friends who better understand what I am going through and have been around me long enough to know who I really am and what I am really about. All of those people we’re glad to see me.

Then tonight, I got to hang out with this chick that I have always thought was cool and now think it’s amazing. We say and smoked marijuana and talked for a couple of hours and I told her a lier little about the drunk chick because she had heard I was depressed and wanted to know why, so I told her. She is so much more then she let’s on or shares with other people because it’s a safety mechanism and a reflexive behavior designed to deter physical abuse. It was awesome to see who she really is, behind the shell and past the facade she uses to keep people at a distance. I told her how awesome I thought she was and that I didn’t buy the stupid act anymore and hadn’t for a while now. She smiled and seemed happy that I not only believed that but told her that I believed that.

I’m still not sure we I am going out how I am going to get there, I am pretty sure there is no road map and neither Google Assistant, Cortana, Bixby, Alexa or Siri can find directions which is a relief and reinforces that neither did my former roommate. This knowledge makes me feel better because it’s just another reason to consider him s douche nozzel.

When I saw Leprekon yesterday, he tried to tell me that he warned me about the drunk chick thinking this would somehow make me feel better. He then said that even as a friend because she was always causing drama and drinking to the point of needing to visit the hospital. He also said he doubted that her shrink had raped her and I explained I knew it wss true because I found the news articles and court transcripts. I didn’t tell him that she had given me all of the information I would need to find most of it with a Google search. One of the things that helped me Excel let IT support was my ability to understand what was wrong with w computer and then Google a solution or search Microsoft for a solution. So when she gave me the information to find a news story, I used that to get everything. I then told him that what take bothered me was that she didn’t call me when she was getting our of the hospital not when she saw Leprekon. He told me she asked where I was and says she wanted hey pills but I told her you left them with hey on the gurney when they took her to the ER. See, I’m pretty sure she knew that and that she was trying to get him to call me without having to ask for my number and that Leprekon didn’t catch this before responding. I am hoping in the next couple of days to run in to her so that I can see how she reacts when she sees me and acts towards me after we are together face to face in a situation where I can ask her questions answered properly guage her body language and posture as she answers them. I suspect that I am not completely wrong and that she was trying to get sober to keep from fucking things up between us. If this is the case, then I have to absolutely think about the concept of helping her through rehab. Unfortunately I suspect that if I don’t do this very soon, it may be too late because she will have forgotten her motivation or drank too much she go to the hospital again. I won’t deny that I really like her and that it’s all based upon the attraction and how I feel around her when she is sober and we are talking and interacting. I am pretty sure she didn’t just give me all the information about herself that she did to everyone else she had met because they would have used it against her. I’m also sure that some of the stories of people mistreating her are exaggerated they aren’t all that way and that means that she really doesn’t have many people she can trust and none that she knows that come closer to me because I didn’t ask for anything and I treated her how I always treat my friends and even further by testing hey how I always treat women and women I am dating. Or as Ell said, like a princess. Yes, I am obsessing and it may be because I am crushing hard but that doesn’t mean that I am letting it cloud my judgement or bong me to anything. It just makes me want to ensure that I don’t give up by throwing in the towel to early and losing out on the possibility that she really is as in to me as she said several times. I haven’t been near internet for the majority of the last few days because I have been trying to be scarce and invisible which is difficult if you’re where everybody knows you. It’s partially depression and partially having to do errands and help people do errands to make cash for gasoline and tobacco. I meed to start getting people who I roll cigarettes for to contribute change towards papers and tobacco because it’s not free and everyone seems to ask and think they are.