20 Years Ago…  

I was 27 and thought that I knew everything about everything and that I was at the top of my game and then soap opera like interpersonal politics took a major role when someone online took a dislike to me and began calling and harassing my employer.  I found myself jobless at the worst time because all of the Christmas help had been hired and this was the last week of September.

Another online friend came to my rescue offering to pay me a decent $8 an hour under the table for three full days of work on Pier 39 I’m San Francisco and I had never been to the city before.   It was a truly amazing and incredible experience that first weekend that turned in to two weeks and then a full-time job. 

I made new friends and people that I began to hang around with and slowly distance grew between me and the online world as my real life friendships intensified.  Then I met Trenine and my life forever changed the first introduction when she smiled at me, I felt my heart beating and my breathing catch in my throat as I felt like someone was tickling my belly button.   Time seemed to slow to a crawl,  that seemed to have an effect on the carousel music in the background. We were closing together and I had been invited to crash at their apartment in San Jose,  another place I had never been. 

I miss Trenine, she left this world after a couple of bouts of cancer and lupus. We had parted company and I was married with children when she passed away.   She had intentionally sabotaged the relationship and driven me away because I think she knew she was terminal and she didn’t want me to see her deteriorate any further.   The surgery and chemo did horrendous things to her psychological self image and she mistook my sorrow for what she was enduring like a champion as something less honorable where previously I had looked at her as if she were an angel. She was,  briefly my angel. 

Right now,  i really and truly miss her because I know that if she were still here that I could call her and she would tell me exactly what she thought without any sugar coating to make the medicine go down.   This might be the suckiest part of growing  old,  ended friendships and friends who have passed on.