So, I never thought about misogyny until my daughter was born and we were riding in the car listening to my mix CD, which has explicit lyrics and the first song is Nickeback’s Rockstar, and she told me she wanted to be a Rockstar.
I wanted to encourage this so I made a mix of women musicians and rock stars. Then I saw this YouTube video of a little girl in the toy department at Target and I realized the indoctrination starts early. I am a visual learner and this is the only reason I can change a diaper. I had two younger sisters.
So today during my break, I hot boxed my car with two Black Men who were also between classes. We started talking and somehow the topic of daughters and sex came up. He asked if I had a daughter and I said that I did. He asked me if I would be upset if I caught her having sex. The hypothetical situation would be that she was a teenager and I would like to believe that I would not allow emotions to get involved. That I would just close the door and wait until later. That I would discuss safe sex and pregnancy and disease. Like I would with my son.
The young man, said that he would be angry at the male. When I asked about a potential son he said he would high five him or fist bump. I wasn’t able to figure out a way to explain to him the horrible message this sends to his daughter. How it reinforces that she is not intelligent enough to make decisions about her own body regarding sex. That a man is better suited to make the decisions about her sex.
This is what I find creepy about the purity / chastity rings dad’s are giving daughters to keep their virginity. They say it is her promise to her father to remain virgin and pure, this used to be important because of the dowry. Today it is for a moral reason but still places the young woman in a position where her sex is being controlled by a man. Combine that with the video floating around Facebook of the father taking his preschool daughter on a play date and the level of creepiness begins to approach the brother and sister in The People Under The Stairs.
I am not sure when I became a humanist, when I began to believe that all humans are created equal, are equally valuable and deserve equal protection and truly equal rights. This is even more so when it comes to my people as they are special to me, this is why they are my people. I don’t remember which counselor put that reference in to my vernacular.
Your people. It was a reference to your friends, family, neighbors, etc. Anyone you would expect to pick you up if they saw you walking home, even if it is only a few blocks in the city. So, I get Kethry boy toys when I don’t let her pick out what she wants. I get her the stuff I like and she seems to like it even more. I want to get a model rocket kit and shoot off a really big one with her.
See, Haplo is in to science and Kethry is more in to art. I want to encourage her to be more in to science and she loved cosmos. Haplo and Kethry play all the time and he doesn’t have the concept of her being a girl in a way that is a limitation. Since his mother is fully capable, smart and a natural teacher, they both respect her as much as me. This was important to me in the beginning, I didn’t want to be the wait till your father gets home, dad.
By doing that, I have taught Kethry to do what she wants and likes. She asked for a sword instead of fairy wings which got her both a sword and fairy wings. She plays video games and she is pretty nerdy but she is also a girly girl. She likes to play with dolls and make up too. She likes to have tea parties. Best of all, she just likes to go for rides in the car with dad. She amazes me with how much she loves her brother and how loving she truly is.