Monday was International Women’s AIDS day and the professor directed us to a meeting that was being held by Sacramento Sisters Survival group to bring awareness to the fact that women are disproportionately effected by the disease.  They handed out condoms, instructed on the proper use and told their stories.


Tuesday after my Algebra class, a fellow student decided that she felt I was staring at her and called me out on it.  I didn’t say anything because I was taken aback at the entire situation and in retrospect I should have called her on her passive aggressive display of dominance.  Riddler said I should have said “Our realities have converged and I submit to you.”  I will just probably ignore that she exists from this time forward rather then argue how powerful she has claimed I am or illogical her reasoning is for it.


Today, I was waiting for MooSe to arrive at school, and as usual, I had parked on the top of the American River College parking structure.  I decided to take some pictures of the snow capped mountains with the 18x telephoto lens and my Samsung Galaxy Note 2.  I had just captured an amazing picture and posted it to Instagram when I was approached while sitting in my car by a Los Rios District Police Officer who asked me if I was a student and I applied to the affirmative.  He then told me that someone down on the soccer field ha called the police because they believed I was either photographing them or recording them.  I wasn’t and calmly explained that I was taking pictures of the surrounding mountains, and clearly I knew at this point that I could easily prove it.  I could show him my Instagram feed which has the pictures I took.  When he asked me to see the pictures, I decided enough was enough,  I said firmly “this conversation is over” I a terse tone.  He then calmly explained it was ok and that I was not in any trouble and that what I was doing was perfectly legal.


At this point, I am now positive that he has absolutely no probable cause and that there is nothing he can do to me as I have done nothing wrong.  So, I cut him off and say “even if I had of been taking pictures of them, it would have been perfectly legal to do so.”  At which time he cut me off and added “unless it was for sexual gratification.”  WTF?  No, seriously, WHAT THE FUCK?  He must have realized how awkward I felt and he explained that he was sure this was not the case.  I bit my tongue as my inner Beavis wanted to scream “then why the fuck did you say it assmunch?  The only reason to make a comment like that is to raise doubt or to create an emotional response. 


Since it was just the two of us, what the fuck did you expect, for me to suddenly confess that I was taking pictures of the girls playing soccer on the field below with my cell phone camera to go somewhere and masturbate and you are telling me that this is a crime punishable by fine or imprisonment?  Seriously?  What the fuck has our country come to?  Sure it is kind if disturbing and maybe a little sick but to imprison someone or make them pay money for it?  Even though the very premise behind it defies the idea of a free society and is nothing more then criminalizing someone’s thoughts and ideas.  I was also a bit afraid that he might take my phone and look at my pictures because that could be a bit embarrassing as I have spent the last 8 weeks enrolled in a Primatology Field Studies class where I have been tasked with observing primates at the Sacramento Zoo on Saturdays for 3 hours. 


Taking pictures of various things and some of those pictures, especially ones of Joey, the senior citizen of the troop, are awkward.  You see, I have a series of pictures with Joey touching himself and then getting an erection.  But I didn’t say anything as he finished by mentioning that he wouldn’t have rolled up on the bike if he thought that this was the situation. Once again, Beavis was pulling the shirt above my head as I swallowed Cornholio who went down screaming about how messed up and perverted it would have made him look to creep up on someone sitting in their car masturbating in order to catch them masturbating so that they could initiate punishment for the legal ramifications of self-pleasure.  Like, dude, you were clarifying that you  wouldn’t have snuck up on me like you did, if you thought that I was masturbating in my car. 


Uh, wow.  Uh, I just don’t know how to process this.  It’s not that someone does something like this, takes pictures and whacks off or that it is illegal.  No what bothers me is that the police officer basically left me wondering if he was trying to sneak up on me spanking my monkey so he wouldn’t misbehave during my Physical Anthropology class.  Look, I have to have humor if I am going to be a good anthropologist because one has to have humor if they choose a career change that relegates them to eating a lot of ramen.  Although right now, I am kind of in to this vegan jerky, like beef jerky but made from vegetables.  Sure, cows are made from vegetables but this is different although it kind of has the same texture and taste. Yummy.


I will just say that were I a terrorist and this interaction were happening during a criminal act, I am totally and equivocally certain that this officer would never have suspected anything.  I know how much he lacked in the way of observance because what of how the situation unfolded and it reinforced for me the reality that most criminals get caught because they make stupid mistakes because the Police for the most part are inept.  I have now found my inner zen and calm through this blog.



About Old Guy Student

I am a 43 year old IT Consultant who has decided to go back to school and get a degree.

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