Week # 2

So I am at the end of week number two and a little closer to acquiring gainful employment. I have also begun walking around the neighborhood and around the community.1

This week saw the rare convergence of three separate moves of the lunar dance the moon takes around the earth every twenty-eight days. The bluemoon which is when there are two full moons in one month, the afternoon when the full moon occurs at the perihelon, or it’s closest point to the earth. Finally this is all happening at the same time that the earth is acting like that fat lady with big hair and 8 dirty, viral incubators often referred to as kids. Yes, I have my own offspring germ factories and I don’t deny them. This woman keeps getting up and down at the best parts of the Last Jedi and you just wish for a brief moment that you could have command over the power of the force so you could give her granny panties full briefs a yank returning you to middle school laughter over the atomic wedgie. Seriously though the earth is acting like those granny panties and hiding the glorious nature of her gluteous maximus and the human ability at sustained upright, bipedal locomotion. As a result it will be big and a sickly, Donald Trump orange color. Man, this is some good shit, Maynard.

This is why I love this community, the #NorCal #Sacramento #prop215 medical #marijuana family because they put their actions or there. I needed medicine. I went to#orbit but missed my buddy @weedallstarllc who is a funky little 👽 wearing a human meat suit. Like Edgar in Men in Black except he is more like the pug than that alien in Edgar. That dude didn't have friends in high places and therefore his dankruptcy was full of over priced mids. But this local pirate rowed in to the core and delivered an early birthday present. My roommate got concerned because he said I reeked of #weed and I was like "oh, what's that smell like?" and grinned. He wasn't happy, but he understands that it is the only thing that truly relaxed my mind and body enough to work to reduce the pain. Like it or not, I have been smoking and on the internet since my junior year in High School when a co-worker ordered me to take bong rips. I inhaled like a smoker who had been jonesing behind a desk for 5 hours and just got to solace where they could spark up. I then hocked up an alien symbiotic life form or the biggest lung booger you have ever seen. Then I forgot time for a decade. #staylifted peeps and #weshouldsmoke because #wedontsmokethesame #420 #710 #cityoftrees #mmjpatient #916 #nerd #nerdstoner #stonernerd

A post shared by Eegore Beaver (@oldguystudent) on

This is a homeless birthday present stolen by a pirate and traded for a favor and fame by same as a belated Christmas present because everyone knows Santa didn’t leave anything, he was jacking houses and got caught but that’s a different blog.

So, one of the habits that I had developed when I began back to school in 2013 was to just walk for the sake of walking, listening to music and exercise. As life changes and health issues have plagued me, I stopped doing that and allowed the pain to dictate when, where, how and what I do. Tonight, I just decided to walk around the neighborhood and that spread to walking the intersection by the street that my complex is on and the next intersection. On the seemingly random and meandering route, the across and sound parking lots in being off strip shopping centers. Here's some random snapshots I took while walking. Look at the time spent moving and I didn't plan that, much like the walk was an attempt to find someone to share this bowl of amazing #marijuana I got from a pirate who's only command was to make sure shared it. I didn't tonight, but I certainly tried. #prop215 #mmjpatient #reefer #420 #710 #weshouldsmoke because #wedontsmokethesame #staylifted #nerdstoner #stonernerd #sactown #916 #cityoftrees #sacramento

A post shared by Eegore Beaver (@oldguystudent) on

This is a Google Tracks of my walk last night. It’s S product I used a lot then Google took it out back and shot it in the head. It’s dead Jim. I know it’s illogical, Spock. I haven’t found a decent replacement. Any suggestions and hit me up.

Thanks to an Angel 👼 on the other coast, I had enough cash to get a pick of tobacco and an extra package of rolling papers. These a aren't things you can afford just anywhere, while most convenience stores attached to gasoline refueling stations have cigarettes, cigarillos, blunt wraps and an overpriced selection of rolling papers, they said never have loose tobacco for roll your own cigarettes. For this to have to go to a bodega or a liquor store. I went to Sam's this morning and as I entered, I noticed the counter was empty. I was looking for an energy drink and heard a voice all of they could help me and I explained what I wanted and the nice guy directed me to refrigerator number 8. Awesome. I read looking at a Bic lighter but individually they are too expensive when you can get them for less than a dollar at Wal-Mart. I try not to do cheap lighters as I have had them leak in my hand. Plus Richard Pryor. Just saying. The dude gave me a poorly manufactured, knock off of a Zippo lighter explaining I had to fill it. I happened to have some in my glove compartment. This was a truly awesome morning and made my #wakeandbake on gifted #marijuana at #710 and again this afternoon at #420. Thanks Mr. Bodega owner for making this #prop215 #mmjpatient and helping me find what will eventually replace #weed on the scheduled substances list. #staylifted #reefers and #weshouldsmoke since #wedontsmokethesame #cityoftrees #sacramento #sactown #916 #california #nerdstoner #stonernerd #weedstagram This is the last post I will make using the #motoroladroidzforce before sending it off to #motorola for a #warranty repair that was a nightmare to get the #rma processed properly. So we will see how the repair effects my posting veracity.

A post shared by Eegore Beaver (@oldguystudent) on

For some reason, people outside of the bay area and east coast don’t know the term bodega. This is not a bodega than a true blue liquor store.

Do you even realize the level of stupid that exits between your lips carrying the oscillated sound of your vocal chords when you respond that you didn't call someone who simply hit redial in your phone? Are you that technologically inept and unworldly that you don't understand Caller ID? It's been around for more than thirty years. Cell phones have taken it to knew levels. The phone was out of reach, I had to locate it and then it stopped ringing. I hit redial. Technology doesn't make those kinds of mistakes and because we are separated like Kevin Bacon and his acting career which means by now than six degrees. Therefore it is highly unlikely almost too the point of being impossible for to someone who dislikes both of us, to spoofing their caller ID to implicate you. Therefore it means that maybe you let someone use your phone and they did it without your knowledge or you are just a stupid, pathological lying human who doesn't realize how easily people see through your inane bullshit. Stuart Smalley prevails baby. You are smart enough. You are good enough and gosh darn it, people, like you! See, it doesn't bother me, I'm not upset, I am laughing because that level of lying to oneself makes the above your mantra. And to put the words in the mouth of a former president, as Sting once quoted in the song Russians, it's the lie we don't believe anymore. It's up there with the three most common lies: the check is in the mail, I won't cum in your mouth and your ass isn't fat. This is brought to you by my roommates wireless. With the assistance of pirated #weed because I am a #mmjpatient and I rely on medicinal #marijuana to cure the chronic pain that I have due to nerve damage and circulation issues job my lower legs. I am a #nerdstoner who takes pictures of things and makes random off color jokes about the glaring realities of life. The #stonernerd in me has lots of friends in high places in the #norcal #sactown #cityoftrees #sacramento #916 #prop215 community who bless me and gift me with amazing medicine. This is my way if posting them back. If you ever see those hillbilly, @gunnysacfarms guys, but their flowers!

A post shared by Eegore Beaver (@oldguystudent) on

Why do people feel for the need to lie and say they didn’t mar a call when they did? So here’sa random snapshot of my crazy week. Tomorrow is the Orbit show and I am wondering if I can figure out how to get there and back without my own conveyance with which to make the adventure.


Needing a Miracle

For the first-time in months, I have felt well enough to go to the #weedallstars #orbitz show, a #prop215 #mmjpatient event in #sacramento #california on #friday evenings. This #sb420 compliant event is completely free and is the best place to get medicinal marijuana at prices less than those of the dispensaries for medical much less recreational. This is because Sacramento is the city of trees and this event showers shows that the farm to fork reputation also works for medical #marijuana where it is #farm2bong. Since I am currently unable to drive myself there and do not have another means of conveyance, I decided to act like a DeadHead and hold up 1 dinner indicating that I need a miracle. Here is the Instagram post that I made to ask the community for that ride.

Sometimes life takes you through changes that are almost like a fairy tale. California in the winter has mushrooms, which is the antithesis of the dry arid climate that is the Golden State. Like the mushroom 🍄 I have found a spot that appears to be a place where I can begin to thrive. Now look closely below the mushroom, that green spec is something that has just sprouted and that's the contribution of the mushroom to the world, providing a spot for something else to thrive. Now, if I could just figure out how to acquire medicine. The pain from the weather is acute and once again I am totally dankrupt and wish I had something to pack in my pipe. Anyone or there near Citrus Heights want to help a fellow #mmjpatient out this Tuesday morning and early afternoon? This 🐵 is in misery and could use a smoke out. Just remember 🙈🙉🙊 because it just begets more evil. Stay strong peeps, I think I am on the rebound.

A post shared by Eegore Beaver (@oldguystudent) on

Now it is just a matter of waiting and seeing if someone will be willing to go a little or of their way to pick me up and take me to the show. Cross your fingers and lets wait and see if I am blessed or not.

Criminal Justice?

As an American, raised in the Mason-Dixon State of Maryland, I was given the belief that our criminal Justice system, while flawed was about truth, Justice and fairness.  That Judges, prosecutors and lawyers all believed in this concept and that a guilty man should go free before any innocent man was convicted.  Television seemed to reinforce this theory showing far more Justice warrior lawyers and police then could ever exist in reality.  It doesn’t work that way, never has and has always been political and socioeconomic.

Another pervasive myth is that police are benevolent, forthright and serve the public trust.  Television shows always show the wrongfully accused of being exonerated and the guilty being forced to plea bargain to avoid harsher crimes.  The public defenders shown on TV are always competent, smart jurists who are seemingly able to get their clients off when they are innocent, exonerating them.  This rarely happens and in many cases they are forced to use a bail bondsman to get out until their trial starts or remain incarcerated.

Mandatory minimums and harsh sentencing often push people in to taking pleas because of the risk of going to court and the resistance their public defender will apply to keep from going to court.  Suddenly that myth of innocent until proven guilty and the entire concept of Justice, innocence and guilt are as pure as the fruit flavors in Starburst fruit chews.

After conviction, going to prison is a nightmare experience that I was taught to justify with the idiotic rhetoric of Barrett’s, don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time which is hilarious given the knowledge of how many are forced in to plea agreements versus facing the potential of being wronfully convicted because your public defender has no experience and just barely passed the bar exam or doesn’t want your case and definitely doesn’t want a trial.  So let’s say they finally make it through to be released back in to the population after being cultured in this environment.

Then you have the reality that you can have other kinds of violations that can get you sent to jail.  See, about four years ago, I was helping my young friend Jose obtain his driver’s license and one night I got a ticket giving another friend a ride to Trader Joe’s.  It was from doing a California stop through an intersection with a red light with no traffic and a clear intersection while making a right turn.  I can accept the violation but the process is bullshit and intimidating.  I didn’t know how to plea, I was guilty but living off financial aid and this was the week before finals.

I could either agree to make payments which I knew I could never pay or do community service.  Community service required a cash payment to enroll in the program that I had to pay immediately even when I told them it would mean I wouldn’t be able to eat for a week.  Then shit went worse because the sheriff’s involved with the community service wanted a $35 a day fee and I had 40 hours of community service.  When I explained that I lived in my car and lived off financial aid, she asked where it went. When I said textbooks, she said I was being uncooperative and stamped me intelligible.  Jose had gone with me so he could take my car and pick me up.  I went back to the court and prepared to throw myself on the mercy of the court when Jose stopped at a gas station and used the ATM to retrieve the remaining cost of the fine because we were both terrified I was going to go to jail for a few days.  I was prepared. That’s bullshit.


Orbit show

This was the second week the Weed All-Stars had a show in their new venue and it was off the hook.  If you don’t know, the Orbit show is a Free private, Prop 215 Patient event held in Sacramento, the city if trees on Friday nights where patients can interact with the growers, extractors and manufacturer of their medication.  This provides a much better pricing structure then the current dispensary models.

Calling all #sacramentodabbers and #sacramentostoners:. Tonight in #sacramento @weedallstarllc is hosting in the #cityoftrees the premier #farmtobong #prop215 patient event held in full compliances with #sb420 outdoors in a safe environment where you can sample products before you buy. What can you buy? Everything you can imagine in a #420 and #710 product line and some you can’t. You will find some of the best #marijuana flowers and #mmj medicines at prices well below those of dispensaries. #staylifted #reefers.

A post shared by Eegore Beaver (@oldguystudent) on Apr 28, 2017 at 12:04pm PDT


The Weed All-Star crew are all amazing reefers from Jose the alien leader to Shorty.


Then there is everyone’s favorite reefer, Dank Diggler, Sacramento’s Dankest Weatherman.


I oftwn get there early because back in the day when it cost $10 to get in, it is totally free for patients now, Jose had awesome gift bags. Now they cost $10 and easily contain two to three times that value in medicine and gifts. The line to get in forms rather quickly.


Once inside there is nothing but the best, top shelf medicinal marijuana flowers.


I was gifted an edible donut.


As always Primal Drops was present with top quality, pure and safe medicines at the most affordable and economic prices possible. Cheap in price, high in quality.


Iderb was there and i did a double-cup and got lost.


I got to see Faded Jerry slap a fat dab of SF Labs.


SF Labs always brings the fire concentrates.


This is my Orbit report. Keep in mind i was still in a lot of pain and had eaten a lot of medicine for the pain.

Citizenship,  Patriotism & National Security

I was labeled early in the 2015 primaries as one of them Bernie Bros and couldn’t understand how something like this could have formed so quickly as a universal opposition to a Democratic challenger.   Republicans were using it too.   Then I watched as contests were called and Bernie declared a winner before any ballots had been cast,  the delegates including Super delegates were assigned according to projected polling data and Google searches seemed to report this same data.   Then we came to the first caucus and Hillary was projected to win by a slim margin except she didn’t and lost by a larger margin when you count in the independent block which almost entirely voted for Bernie.

This is around the time that the exit polling  data started to become an issue when third parties made requests of the news media association that pays for and collects the data.   They didn’t want to surrender it and refused so the courts got involved.   The reason the data is important is because it is what is used as the international standard for deciding if there is fraud in an election.   If the polls show more then a +/- of 2% in the results,  fraud is suspected.   There are indications of bigger then 3% margins in some contests and within some contests when votes were cast by ballots where Hillary won. In states where there were caucuses,  in all but Nevada,  Bernie won by several percentage points. 

The Nevada caucus is the single most damning event in the entire Democratic National Convention primary process and shows how overzealous and powerful members of the party can steal a caucus and blame it on the people they silenced for actions that never happened.  See,  the DNC chairperson came out saying  a chair was thrown at the Nevada Caucus causing them to call it early and end the event.   Video shot on cell phone from the back of the room, showing the entire fiasco shows no chair being thrown. 

The only one I have heard thus far make any comments on this has been President Donald Trump and ironically the Republican Party was so busy working  behind the scenes to thwart him that they missed all the dirty,  secretive and potentially illegal conspiracy that was unfolding during  the Democratic primary.   See,  if the primaries had of occurred in another country,  given the anomalies and other issues raised about instate in party voter suppression that they would refuse to certify it.   They wouldn’t allow the process to move forward without major analysis of the numbers and exit polling  data. 

So,  unless you want to drop back to that point and discuss the legal ramifications and prosecutions you have to push forward and decide whom to blame and how to fix it.   The first group to blame are all the media that didn’t report on these anomalies and issues as they occurred and instead chose Benghazi and Emails and trying to make Donald Trump look as bad as possible while stirring up animosity.   The next group are all the politicians and elected officials who didn’t step up and say something.   Especially on the state level who have since moved to the federal level and one’s who plan to do so in the future.   Where were you during this? 

When asking about Benghazi why didn’t anyone ask what role the Ambassador had in civil war that was unfolding in Libya 🇱🇾 that we now know was in silage by Hillary Clinton and her State Department 🏬 which represents the 🇺🇸 United States.   Suddenly this changes the attack on the embassy and everything else,  as it should. 

Hillary Clinton and the Democratic National Committee emails show enough circumstantial evidence to suspect that the party ran a clandestine off books operation to sway the course of the primary and ultimately the general election results.   This is evidence of collusion with media outlets and party officials within state party offices to utilize their rank and position  to squash the efficacy of a large block of voters,  mainly those who would be voting  for Bernie Sanders.  Yet none of this is discussed,  instead we have people who are still upset that the conspiracy failed and Hillary Clinton lost.  She couldn’t believe she lost,  she hadn’t even ever thought about it,  she was that assured of victory that she didn’t have a concession speech.   Like she couldn’t believe the conspiracy failed. Or that people didn’t buy her as being the lesser of two evils when compared to Donald Trump.

I am truly concerned that the witch hunt that is going on to find and report on every  mistake,  to challenge every decision is going  to have the potential to jeopardize national security.  Like it or not,  if you are a US Citizen, Donald Trump was sworn in after meeting all of the legal requirements to obtain the office of President of the United States of America and that makes him,  your president.  It makes him my President.   Now,  I have to support him,  because otherwise it’s unpatriotic and goes against what we are supposed to do as Americans.  See,  I have to hope and dream about him being  the best president ever because that benefits me.   Finally,  I have to ask,  how can we still trust a news media that has been complicit in seemingly trying to hand the election to Hillary Clinton?  The same mainstream media everyone says that they don’t trust because it’s dishonest and political?  The same media that they don’t trust is how they decided Donald Trump. Was a fascist,  dishonest, and bigoted racist even though all of those who would have the most to gain by coming  forward with stories to reinforce it seem to be silent and that says that maybe they don’t have stories because that’s not who he is.  Richard Jewel. Never forget that media can and does paint the wrong pictures of people.   George Zimmerman. End of story. 

20 Years Ago… 

I was 27 and thought that I knew everything about everything and that I was at the top of my game and then soap opera like interpersonal politics took a major role when someone online took a dislike to me and began calling and harassing my employer.  I found myself jobless at the worst time because all of the Christmas help had been hired and this was the last week of September.

Another online friend came to my rescue offering to pay me a decent $8 an hour under the table for three full days of work on Pier 39 I’m San Francisco and I had never been to the city before.   It was a truly amazing and incredible experience that first weekend that turned in to two weeks and then a full-time job. 

I made new friends and people that I began to hang around with and slowly distance grew between me and the online world as my real life friendships intensified.  Then I met Trenine and my life forever changed the first introduction when she smiled at me, I felt my heart beating and my breathing catch in my throat as I felt like someone was tickling my belly button.   Time seemed to slow to a crawl,  that seemed to have an effect on the carousel music in the background. We were closing together and I had been invited to crash at their apartment in San Jose,  another place I had never been. 

I miss Trenine, she left this world after a couple of bouts of cancer and lupus. We had parted company and I was married with children when she passed away.   She had intentionally sabotaged the relationship and driven me away because I think she knew she was terminal and she didn’t want me to see her deteriorate any further.   The surgery and chemo did horrendous things to her psychological self image and she mistook my sorrow for what she was enduring like a champion as something less honorable where previously I had looked at her as if she were an angel. She was,  briefly my angel. 

Right now,  i really and truly miss her because I know that if she were still here that I could call her and she would tell me exactly what she thought without any sugar coating to make the medicine go down.   This might be the suckiest part of growing  old,  ended friendships and friends who have passed on. 

Reckless Driving

I rarely use my smartphone while driving because I understand how much it effects my driving.  If I can’t swipe to answer the phone, I don’t answer.  If I don’t have a handsfree and speaker phone mode isn’t loud enough, I don’t talk on the phone.  I keep a wired earbuds with microphone in my sun visor and another in my car bag.  I also have wireless Bluetooth ones.  The law going in to effect will have no change in my behaviors.

On the way to the Orbit show in Sacramento on Friday, I was in Carmichael, a suburb of Sacramento County approaching Fair Oaks Blvd and this car was driving erratically.  I took this picture and posted it to Instagram.

Sunday morning someone liked it even though I didn’t use any hash tags.  It reminded me and I realized I could read the magnetic placards on the door.

So, I was disturbed enough that I decided to contact them through Facebook since they, believe it or not, don’t have an Instagram or one that can be found searching simply for their name.  Notice the Facebook messenger floating head in the screenshot, it was taken after I sent the message right as their response came back.  Here is the exchange.

I am trying to be cordial and succinct to keep from having any kind of negative emotional response.

Fat fingers and autocorrect make me look like I am illiterate.  Argh.

In the age of cell phones putting 800 how I am driving numbers became a thing.  In the age of smartphones, pictures and video have supplemented this and because everyone uses Facebook, the response from the Account Holder was almost instantaneous.

They were extremely courteous and amicable in their response and I applaud them for that and is why I posted the conversation in its entirety.

Misogyny & Marijuana

Sometimes, university analyze things and I am.probably doing the same thing here, you tell me.  I was at a #Prop215, #SB420 compliant event this weekend and the overwhelming majority of the vendors are male and almost all of the females are accompanied by males.  At this one table was a line female with some amazing looking outdoor medicinal marijuana flowers.  I was taking pictures using my Lenovo Moto Droid Z Force and a clip on Macro Lens to photograph the buds she had out on display.

While I was doing this and trying not to catch the lady in the images, because she was sitting and only her cleavage would be visible, the guy sharing the table picked up his jar and opened it and began trying to get me attention.  It bothered me because this girl seemed to be taken aback too.  Would he have done the same if it was one of the other male vendors?  She was patiently waiting for me to finish my inspection and admiration of her wares and he saw that I was considering a purchase and he moved to try and shift my focus, using the much more popular Cookies name.

The problem I have is that this could all be perception and confirmation at work.  I really wasn’t looking for Cookies as that’s last year for me.  I was really interested in something I hadn’t seen or smoked before.  So, I bought a gram of Humboldt OG flowers and asked her if I could take her picture.

Tuesday Hell

​I experienced #hell today on my way to class as my day went horribly wrong like something out of Joe Dirt or Deuce Bigelow or The Bachelor Party.  One of those defining moments in life that reminds you there is no god and nature has a fucking dry, raunchy sense of humor.  An experience so degrading and embarrassing that it made me retreat to my safe space, movies, except it was Toy Story and a mission going horribly wrong with characters screaming and yelling to abort the mission.  Then, just as I was about to turn and run in shame, then as if this horror story that my life has suddenly become couldn’t get any worse, it does as reality decides this shit-show needs more character drama and Rio-Linda-Joe shows up and calls my name and asks me when my next class was. I was on the way to class when this situation developed and my life suddenly threatened to descend in to the embarrassing chaos like in the beginning of the New Guy where the principal grabs and breaks the guys aroused penis.   I was so distraught, I couldn’t remember that shit because of the overwhelming shit-storm I was currently dealing with almost made me wish in a higher power. And not the bullshit sold in “The Secret,” either.   If I was a Muslim, I would pray to Allah to get me out of this.  Catholic, Mary and Jesus and finally to God himself.  Protestant, to God in Jesus’ name would I pray.  Job level tribulations hath he unleashed upon me, his most unfaithful servant.

Buddha’s karmic retribution was unleashed upon me, simply, because I laughed at my smoking buddy, who said tobacco makes him have to take a shit.  He fled our session clenching his ass cheeks because I rolled him an American Spirit from loose tobacco and dismissed his dire warning, so now, here I sit, broken hearted, needing to shit, after I had sharted.  On the way to #yoga class.  Aborted mission, beyond my control.  Command command control, this is Major Tom.  Houston, we have a problem.  #Yoga and #sharting are like 0 rings and the space shuttle Challenger and cold weather and should never, ever be mixed when it can be avoided.
So, when, I got to the student center restroom, of course, I encountered a line for the stall. This Murphy’s law in action which really didn’t phase me as I had been intending to change anyway, from denim shorts to more yoga appropriate clothing.  Sharting just took the wind out of my sails as this ship sailed head-on in to the doldrums, the horse latitudes.  While waiting in line all wet and squishy, farts are not supposed to have lumps and all those nuts lately, I think half a peanut made it through.  OK.  I have finished shitting.  More in a few minutes.  See ya on the other side.

When I packed the shorts, I thought I had tossed in more underwear, but nope.  I didn’t and that means I had to go commando.

Yeah, you got the right reference or did you?  Someone stacked rocks in a rock garden as an art installation.  Zen.  While I was thinking, I couldn’t help but meditate on how many people don’t follow the right bathroom etiquette and violate the social contract by talking to you upon entering and exiting and pissing with their hands locked behind their heads police stop style while talking about cold water.  They have waterless urinal jackass.

What is the American male and female restroom culture?  If the door’s locked don’t knock.  I hate when people knock or go further and ask you questions.  I don’t fucking answer damnit.  I am taking a shit.  Fuck you.  They call it a throne for a reason, its why you pray to it when you are sick.  It’s alone time.  So, yeah.  I didn’t go to yoga today.

Joints, Blunts, Spliffs, Cigarettes

So my buddy cheeks loves Blunts and he prefers the Black Diamond Swisher’s Sweets.  I can take a blunt or leave it, properly rolled joints with either a Randy’s with a wire and or just a Raw Splint and paper.  There is something very enjoyable about the bonding of smoking a joint or a blunt over any other method if imbibing, just think The Breakfast Club in the 80’s at the beginning of the War On Drugs.

I am a tobacco addict as is much of America, although most are “sober” and aren’t at risk of losing their sobriety.  For me, the blunt has always triggered a need for a cigarette.  Any cigarette.  That feeling when you inhale, the burning in the lungs and the rush as the added nicotine and carcinogens enter your lungs like VooDoo by Godsmack.  This has continually caused my sobriety from tobacco especially when my I join a circle with other tobacco smokers present.

This led me to my true selfish indulgence, that is somewhere akin to TastyKake Kandy Kakes, all of them are delicious but the Chocolate or Dark Chocolate with Peanut Butter are my Cherry Pez.  The combination of mentholated tobacco, an equal amount of marijuana and the filter from one of those minty Camel Crush is like the after dinner mint after spice food.  I tend to hand roll a lot of cigarettes and Spliffs.

While I can roll by hand it is difficult and I am as good as it as Rebeus Hagrid is with sorcery or magic which often makes my joints and Spliffs and cigarettes look a lot like Mary on Christmas Eve when there was no to at the inn.  One Christmas I rolled one to smoke with a circle waiting for a bus to Alameda on Christmas day in downtown Oakland.  The multi-cultural group was doing the same and one kid, Hispanic, said it was as beautiful as the Virgin Mary on Christmas Eve.  My smart-ass response was that she wasn’t a virgin by then because Joseph married her anyway.  Just because she is pregnant doesn’t mean you can’t have sex, even if she is very pregnant, doggy style works.  They were all looking at me like I said some heavy ass shit.  And maybe blasphemy.

So, before my friend who is a Grateful Dead, Grill Cheese making, eating and selling, bonafide child of an honest to goodness bonafide Granola Hippy took the time and patience to teach and encourage me to learn to roll, I became a master with those plastic hand rollers and I can sometimes do it with a dollar bill.  When I have a dollar bill, even when I have money, it’s usually in a bank. The acrylic ones use a functional design but pop open as the rolling surface plastic stiffens with use and exposure to the oils on your fingers and they wear out.  Raw includes two sleeves with their roller.  The frame is made of some man made hemp fiber and the tube a thin polymer.  But the design is the same.  I love the IndoShag roller.

That’s what started the idea for this blog, is that a few months ago, I misplaced my several year IndoShag Roller that I cracked and ordered a new one.  Somehow, I have misplaced the cracked one and pulled out the new one.  It is clean and beautiful and pristine.  It really is an amazing design.  It stays closed when you sit it down and it will balance upright when opened and the contents don’t spill out.

When the tube wears out, I usually buy a Raw Roller and use those sleeves in this roller.  It is a simple process to replace the sleeve.  It has a learning curve because too much pressure on the frame and it will crack the top bar.  Eventually it will crack on the other side and leave a gap.  While it is still useful, it makes it a little more difficult to use. I can roll almost any thickness of a joint with it and of necessary can use splints to make sure the burn properly.

My friend Mary J Baggins likes to roll big, thick Blunts and joints.  I can use a Zig-Zag Wrap and a large roller to roll a perfect blunt with almost an 3.5 grams of flower in it.  I have also taken the rap, placed it flat on a clean surface and used a warm metal tool to coat it with hash oil and then coated it with Keef before rolling the blunt. Using a warm surface like a flying pan on the lowest setting of the stove and you can coat the entire thing.  Then dust it with the Keef and place it in the freezer for a few seconds.  Then roll it.  Add a crutch.  Roll using fingers to move both wheels so that the wrapper is loose, but not too loose.  Be prepared for the resin coming out of the end and coating the crutch.